Confessions of a Confused TwentySomething: Sex Ed With an Egyptian Taxi Driver

Cab rides in Egypt are like a box of chocolate; you never know what you're gonna get. You could get Sha3by FM, you could get the Quran, you could get cigarettes and silence. But, this? This was a box full of chocolate-covered crickets, except the crickets were still alive.

PORN, SEX, AND EGYPTIAN DISCOTHEQUES ABROAD

"People outside of Egypt are far more advanced; sex is easily available. You can have sex with a girl who's 16 years old… but, if she gets pregnant, you'll be tried for it. She needs to have the basic mental awareness to know who she's choosing to have babies with and what her life is going to look like. She needs to be 18 for her to be more mentally stable and to determine how she's going to live her life. (Because every girl has her shit together at 18). Even though her body is not that of a child at 16 years old – as proven by the fact that he allowed her to have sex with him – she's still his 'girlfriend'; she's having sex with him because it's physiologically normal. It's like eating and drinking, for them. But, for us, a girl will get to 30 years old and won't know anything about the topic. For them, at 14 years old she can start to engage with certain things that are appropriate for her age. Even their movies are made for certain ages. If it says 14 years old, she'll see a kiss, a hug, and maybe… uh… a woman naked up top. She could see a man naked. But at 16 years old she'll start to see interactions, just not full sex. 

*pause*

Have you watched anything before?"

"Huh? Watched what?"

"Anything 'sex'."

"No, I haven't."

"That's wrong, too."

"Why?"

"This is a form of education! Imagine you marry someone like you who hasn't seen anything at all, both of you won't know what you're supposed to do! This is a problem. That's wrong. There, a girl will start to see oral interactions – engaging with him using her mouth – at age 16, but at 18 she sees full sexual relationships. 

They have places, like a discotheque here in Egypt, where you'll go in and there's a man standing and he has a towel. He starts out standing naked, and she starts engaging with him, but he's hiding 'it' with the towel. One by one, her friends will start to encourage her – 'Come on, go on, etc.' – until she feels confident. That encourages her so that when she's married, she knows how things go – she knows how a man is pleased. This is the reason behind a lot of divorces; she doesn't know how things go – where to start and where to finish – and she doesn't know how to please him, so she lets him do his thing... and he doesn't know what he's doing either. But when they each have some experience, they start to engage."

PLEASURE, ENDURANCE, AND *SMACK, SMACK* SEX

A girl needs a particular touch, you know? And a guy abroad treats you that way, you know? But here, a guy wants to just… *smack, smack*… he sleeps with the girl right away. No! Sleeping with her is the last thing. The pleasure isn't in the sex. People here have things completely wrong!

A woman has indescribable feelings in her breasts; that's why God made her to breastfeed for 9 months, because she enjoys the baby sucking on her. So when the child is sucking on her breasts, she keeps giving him milk because she's enjoying it. At the same time, it's body-to-body contact… But *smack, smack* sex is the last type of pleasure; it's not the whole thing, you know? 

I could bring you to the highest levels of pleasure without touching you at all from the bottom, you know? But here, the guys just want a girl and sex; he just wants to sleep with her. If a guy has a high level of fitness and has trained and knows what he's doing, he'll last about half an hour. In that half hour, he cums once. That's it. She'll have cum about 15 times. (Someone introduce me to this mythical creature that makes this happen 15 times in half an hour. Please). Do you know what you're doing? Are you gonna be able to last that half hour? This is a problem area, you know? Some women complain that their husbands don't last more than 10 minutes. More than 5 minutes and he can't. As soon as he – ha *thrusting motion* – and he's done. He can't. She won't have had a chance to do anything. So if we haven't learned how to use our minds to think of something else outside of this so we don't cum quickly, she'll have to resort to someone else to please her. This is where you get types of infidelity. 

As long as a woman is pleased, she'll give him more; but if you find that I'm not giving you pleasure and giving you unnecessary heartache by not sleeping with you – if you come to a near climax of desire and I suddenly get up – and you're sitting there and your body's burning up inside… time after time, you'll be like 'No, I can't, you keep getting up an leaving me'. There needs to be communication; he needs to say 'Hey, I'm almost done, get ready' or she tells him 'I'm already done'. If she cums first, that's ideal. Why? Because if she cums first, he'll come at any point and khalas khelesna (that's it, we're done) . God gave women this thing where every 5 seconds she feels something pleasurable, which gives her tolerance. For the guy, as long as he's cum – or ejaculated – he can't keep going, except if he's trained himself to do it again.

A long time ago I studied GCE, the equivalent of IG, and we had an English professor who I asked a very direct question; I said, 'Professor, when a man cums a lot, is it bad for him?' He said 'Of course not, that's a misunderstanding. These things are like eating and drinking; you eat three times a day, is it bad for you? You drink 5 or 6 times; you sleep; you wake up… These are physiological things in your body, but someone could train themselves to drink more water in a day because they need it'.  So, you train yourself to have more sexual endurance. By the way, this is what made me better at sex, this professor. I used to be afraid. Some people will say they can't do it more than once a day, but I can do it once, twice, morning, night. Why? Because I removed from my mind the idea that I could die from sex. I trained my mind that I'm sexually strong, and I train myself like an athlete. He trains himself to pump iron, and I train myself to last longer. I don't cum when 'it' wants to, I cum when I want to."

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LET'S GET [WAY TOO] PERSONAL

It's the same thing with a girl, you can't leave yourself to this age… If you leave a car or a VCR or a television without turning it on for 26 years, you think that when you turn it on it's gonna turn on? Am I wrong?"

"That's… an interesting perspective, haha."

"Even you! Look, this is blatantly physiological – don't say no – there's something called masturbation. Have you not done that?"

"Nope."

"You're lying."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because there's no girl can tolerate that!"

"How do you know?"

"You know… I can't be more clear, but you won't be able to eat, you won't be able to sleep, you won't be happy… Your brain chemistry won't be stable, your hormones will be all over the place, your period will be all over the place."

*pause*

"Unless… Unless when you sleep you dream that you're with someone specific so you wake up and find that you've cum. That's another means of exerting energy. If that happens then you're normal and can tolerate not doing anything sexual. But if that doesn't happen, then no, please yourself. You're 26 years old."

"There are lots of ways to exert energy, by the way; it doesn't have to be sexual."

"Sexual energy has nothing to do with physical energy or anything…"

"But if you focus on releasing your sexual energy in a different way…"

"Sure, but you're killing one thing at the expense of another."

"Who says that one kills the other?"

"You want to convince me that you've never been kissed?" (Question Dodging 101).

"Nope."

"So you've never met someone and fallen in love and been loved back?"

"Yeah for sure, but that doesn't mean that anything happened."

"Ok, but at no point did you ever dream that he was sleeping with you, so that relieved your stress and you woke up feeling better?"

"Nope."

*long pause*

"If fate so had it and some kind of 'stress' happened between us, would you be able to handle that?"

*uncomfortable pause*

"So you and I are sitting somewhere and we exchanged some kind of kiss, would you be able to say no, I don't want to?"

"Yeah, I could…"

"So you and I are talking, and you feel like you like Ahmed, and Ahmed feels like he likes… what's your name?"

"Regina Phalange."

"Ahmed likes Regina Phalange, ok? So he starts to hold her hand, and – hup, hup, hup – they both end up together. Will you be able to say no, I don't want to do anything or engage in something? Will you be able to resist that?"

*painfully long pause*

Condoms, Virgin Births, and Stretchy Hymens

"Abroad, Regina could be with Ahmed, but beware of one thing: Regina is 16 years old, so if she says something happened between you, he's responsible. And bear in mind, 18 years old she can't get pregnant; even if there's a sexual relationship, she can't get pregnant. (Wait, what? Didn't he say the total opposite at first?). That's why, even if she goes out to buy gum, you'll find a condom along with it… You'll find a condom. You must! Any guy or girl carries a condom in their bag, and that's normal. If I open your purse right now I'm bound to find gum; girls are like that - chocolate or gum, and condoms. That's what it's like abroad. Why? Because at any point we could be sitting together and could have sex." 

"What's your perception of the concept of a virgin? What do you imagine? Medically."

"An intact hymen…?"

"But every hymen is different; your hymen, as Regina, is different than Jana's, is different than Amal, is different than any other girl. There are different kinds of hymens. There's the kind that's stretchy, the kind that's intact and has holes in it, and the kind that's one piece and very thin. The stretchy one is like a balloon - it has a small opening where your period comes out, but it's covered with a plastic curve – just like a balloon, but it's made of a flexible type of skin like your ear. So when the male member enters, it goes in and out and the hymen stretches around it and doesn't break. There's the other kind that has holes in the middle; small bits of it get ripped off, but it still functions in that it bleeds later. Some sexual relationships between a male and a female could get to the point where they have a sexual relationship but it's not full sex. I could do this *clit-rubbing motion* and you'd still enjoy it, because a woman's pleasure isn't from penetration. Her pleasure is from the part above, the clit. He rubs that part, and he enjoy a small part of that as well, but he doesn't enter. The problem is that when he comes to ejaculate, he does it outside on her stomach. But if he ejaculates in that area, even if there's a hymen, the semen will swim upward and get her pregnant even if she's a virgin."